Communication Styles [rough draft]

Men's communication is simple, direct, and action oriented. We seek to solve problems.

Women's communication is detailed, atmospheric, gives a sense of history, and is mood oriented. You seek to relate to each other.

This can cause problems.

Women - understand that when a man offer's solutions instead of just listening, he's just doing what men do. Men are all about action, not talking.

Men - understand that women sometimes want to be listened to and understood and sympathized with. As much as you want to say, "Get to the point already, jeez," try not to, it's bad form. She's sharing with you, so appreciate it as the compliment it is supposed to be [despite the slow

My wife has to ask me to do lots of stuff [mostly because she's handicapped] and she has to stop me fairly frequently because I've run off to do what she asked before she explained the whole sequence of things she wanted me to do. I usually say, "man of action," then come back to get the rest of the instructions. For little things, men generally don't want to know your entire plan or your thought process as to how you came to a decision. Tell us what you want done and we'll do it.

Men do not imply things in conversation. We say them. If we don't like you we call you a cuss word and move on. Women try not to overanalyze male conversation, it is 90% likely that it is literally what he means. We don't do shades of meaning. It's nice and easy, try it out sometime.

Changing People

People do not change except by their own choice. If you manipulate, compliment, harass, insult, cajole, blackmail, or use an ultimatum to force change you are creating a lie.

Eventually the person you have tried to change will get fed up and revert to type. They may do it honestly and openly or they may lie.

Only commit to people you like as they are, period.

There are no exceptions to this rule.

Cut them quick [rough draft]

If you see enough red flags, cut him/her quickly. You’re wasting your time.

Do not make excuses for bad behavior or signs of lack of interest. There are more fish in the sea.

If you continue to allow cheaters and abusers to succeed you are only encouraging them to continue ths behavior.

Also, when I mean cut them, I mean cut. I mean - no phone calls, no emails, no texts, cut them off all your myspace/fasebook friends lists, do not respond to them in any way, shape, form or fashion. Communication should be as if that person never existed once you cut them.

If you maintain any form of communication you are encouraging foolishness.

Q&A [rough draft]

Ask us questions and we’ll try to answer.

Get hopeless [rough draft]

This is a woman solution, men tend not to have this problem.

Women tend not to find a good dude until they give up all hope of finding a decent man.

Lacking hope allows the woman to work on herself. She gains hobbies, interests, etc. which makes her look like she has a life other than work and obsessing about men.

Lacking hope gives women confidence. If you don’t care what a man thinks and be yourself you exude calm confidence about who you are. And if he ain’t interested you can handle it without being too wounded.

Bad Boys [rough draft]

Women are very often fooled by the bad boy. They are under the impression they can save the bad boy and that he has a pure heart underneath his bad exterior.

This is a delusion.

The dark, brooding, bad boy, with a heart of gold is about as real as dragons, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. He doesn’t exist. Period. Get it out your head.

The bad boy is a jerk through and through and if he eventually fixes himself he will no longer even appear to be a bad boy.

The bad boys will never be stable, monogamous, honest, monetarily stable, or remotely worth a dime.

Bad boys are only useful for sex. Do not try and ever ever ever build an actual relationship with a bad boy of any sort. I guarantee 100% he will treat you badly.

There may be some good guys with typical bad boy signs – tatts, piercings, motorcycles, trendy non-pretty boy clothes. You have to pay attention to behavior and NEVER words. Actions show truth, words are unreliable.

Bad boys will occasionally do nice things. This is how they keep the women around. They are either dishonest and playing you or honest and screwed up. Either way, cut them.

Women’s culture [rough draft]

This is a bit of a rant about some of the worse aspects of women's culture in the USA. There are tons of exceptions, but this is the only way I can get my point across, right now. On later revisions I will try and make it more coherent and less accusatory.

I'm not a big fan of female culture in the U.S. I am a dude so that's understandable to some degree, but I'm talking about the message behind female cultural institutions.

I consider myself of feminist in the simplest terms. I think men and women should be treated equally and fairly. There are some innate differences between men and women, but there are also cultural differences.

I find women have been taught to be passive and wait for prince charming to do things for them. It starts with Disneyified fairy tales, continues in women's magazines and romance novels. Including the latest popular offender Twilight. This culture is training women from little girls to focus all their hopes and dreams on getting married. There is lip service paid to achievement or self development but the massive cultural force being pushed is marriage focussed.

What about developing interests and a character of her own? If you have no interests other than shopping, interior decorating, fashion, music, and men men men men, how will you be an interesting person for a man to talk to. When decent men are ready to settle down they want someone with a personality, will and interests of their own.

When men get together they talk about women a minimal to moderate amount. They talk sports, politics, and other areas of interest.

When women get together they talk almost excusively about men. And they all give each other the horrible advice they get in women's magazines or from talk shows.

Stop it. You must understand that obsessing about men puts you in a position of desperation and weakness. Men don't obsess like this and in so doing are in a place of power.

Women can be incredibly catty and tear each other down. When you are doing this you are only giving men more power. Have each other's backs.

If you find out the dude is married or even has a girlriend, cut him off instantly.

You need some female solidarity if you want to find decent men. In fact if women understood this blog and acted together the bad men out there would be forced to clean up their act.

As long as there are enough excuse making, cheating/abuse accepting, catty females out there men will have plenty of places to turn and will remain in power in the relationship world.

I'm not saying women need to be dominant in power and reverse it. No, get some sense and solidarity and make it an even honest playing field.